Jamie, my love
by openmywings
Summary: Last 5 Years. Cathy comes home for Christmas, only to make a shocking discovery. All belongs to Jason Robert Brown.
1. Chapter 1

Cathy looked out of the window of her plane. She hadn't seen her husband in months. Her Jamie. Sure, she was happy in Ohio doing what she loved, performing, but things weren't the same without him there cheering her on and giving her flowers. She loved when he gave her flowers and told her how stunning she looked even though she was ready to bitch slap someone from being so exhausted. He just made her feel like she was a princess. She was the only woman on the face of the earth for him. She was his everything. The clouds listed apart and she saw the city. Her city with her Jamie. A smile spread across her face. She was coming home early for Christmas. He expected her on December 23rd but she wanted to be there early to surprise him. She figured she could use the three extra days playing catch up with him. To help play catch up she wore the sexiest thing she could in winter. A tight sweater, tighter jeans and spiked boots.

The taxi ride home seemed to take forever. She just wanted to be there already, in his arms, even if he wouldn't be up when she got home. He always stayed up late working. It was always like that. Cathy would sit there while he wrote or typed away. Complete silence because Jamie needed his quiet. Jamie needed his space. Jamie needed to be left alone. So she just sat there reading or sewing. Then she would go to bed and he stayed up until all hours of the morning working. The one thing about Jamie that she never understood was his sleep pattern. He could work on four hours of sleep and if Cathy didn't get at least eight all hell was going to break loose.

The taxi finally pulled up to the house and she quickly payed the driver, thanking him and sighing as she grabbed all her bags. She was home and she couldn't feel any better about it. She got her keys out of her purse and approached the door. This nervous feeling chilled through her body as she silently opened the door, hoping he wouldn't hear it and wake up. She quietly closed the door behind her and put her coat on the coat rack. Then she looked at her living room. Papers and pens covered the floor and the coffee table was over turned. "Well, that's strange," she said as she went to pick everything up. It was 10 AM and Cathy knew she had time to do some cleaning up. Jamie wouldn't be up for another two hours anyway, he probably only went to bed two hours ago.

Once she was done with the living room she still had an hour to kill so she made her way around the house, seeing if anything else needed to be done. Then she walked into the kitchen, which looked like a tornado had ripped through it. Empty milk cartons, dirty dishes and an overloaded sink was enough for her to mentally freak out. "No wonder he always wanted to go back to my apartment for sex," she laughed and started to tidy everything up.

Noon hit and she was ready to go and see her man. See her Jamie and surprise him. She silently made her way up the steps, trying to be as quiet as a mouse. It was pretty damn hard in her boots but she managed. At the top of the steps she saw the bathroom and cringed. She was going to have to doing more than catching up with Jamie this Christmas. As she made her way to the door she heard Jamie say something although it wasn't audible. Jamie always talked to himself when he woke up. Just to make sure he knew what he was going to do that day. She slowly opened the door and froze at the sight she saw. "Cathy! What the hell are you doing home?"

She didn't answer him. Instead, she turned around and wanted to get as far away from him as she could. Holding back tears as she slammed her way down the steps. She almost fell once, those shoes were killer. "SHIT!" As soon as she made her way to the bottom she grabbed her coat and sat outside in the snow. Frozen tears made way down her cheek. She thought back on her day that she made those wedding vows. _"I will never be complete." "I will never be alive." I will never change the world until I do."_ Her hands pounded against the hard, cold cement as she let out a cry. "How could he? How could he do that to me? He loves me. He doesn't love that other girl. He loves me." She tried to reassure herself but she know what she saw. Jamie in bed with another girl. It was too much. So much for a nice holiday.

"Cathy?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Cathy?" He was now dressed, thank god. His face filled with sadness and heart break. It was much like Cathy's except disappointment hung high there as well.

"I can't, Jamie. I just . . . ," her words quickly turned to tears and her head fell to her hands, trying to cover the tears from him. Even if she wanted him to see her hurt. The hurt that he caused.

"Cathy, look at me." A bitter laugh came from the covered face. She didn't even want to begin to face him. She was still trying to convince herself that she was stronger than this. She still loved him, yes, but she didn't like him at all.

"How the hell am I supposed to look at the man who slept with another woman in MY house? Huh, Jamie? How the hell am I supposed to face you? How am I supposed to react?" She looked up at him, tears rolling freely down her face.

"I'm sorry . . . I was stupid," he said, just standing there in the cold winter weather.

"And I'm supposed to hug you and tell you I forgive you and we'll forget all of this? Bullshit, Jamie. You hurt me. And the thing that hurts worse than the fact that I caught you is that you were doing this behind my back. I would have come home and never have known you were in another woman's arms. I'm sorry that I'm stupid, not you. You were smart. I was the dumb one." Her tears slowly froze and soon anger controlled her.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it."

"Well, I don't know what to do then, Cathy. What do you want me to do? I'll gladly go back up there and give her another go if you want me to. Is that what you want? If not, tell me what you want!" Her face was in shock and tears began to fall again.

"I want you to love me and only me. That's all. We made vows, Jamie. We took the plunge and you're throwing it all away because you need a fix." Her face turned away from his as she stared blankly at the white ground. "How many before her? Two, five, ten?"

"Only her. And only once. I'm sorry. I could say it the rest of my life if you needed me to. I love you, Cathy. I messed up and I'll pay for it the rest of my life, if need be. Trust me." A soft, warm hand touched her back and it only made her cry harder. She loved him too much not to forgive him. Yet it was so hard.

"Where is she?"

"She left through the kitchen door. So that you could come into your house and feel comfortable." Her lifeless body was picked up by Jamie, as she continued to cry. She wanted to slap him so hard but, at the same time, hug him and never let go. His big, strong arms seemed so safe. She could stay there forever but she was soon set down on the couch, Jamie sitting beside her,

"A million lifetimes could never begin to tell you how sorry I am. How it will never happen again. Part of me wants you to believe that you'll believe me. Yet another tells me that this will always be lurking at the back of your mind. Still, remember this, you're the one who I will love for the rest of my life. You're my rock, my support, my life. No one else could possibly replace. So, baby, please just don't be mad. I will promise you it will never happen again. I promise that the rest of my life I'll never love anyone except you. I love you, Cathy. Please trust that." His hand took her gently and she nodded through her emotions. Tears flooded her face. She knew we was sincere. She could feel that in her gut. Yet, she would never forget this.

This was the worst Christmas for Cathy. Well, the only Christmas that could beat that was the one right after Jamie broke his promise to her.


End file.
